[ There's no right answer, no magical word or easy way to deal with grief that's still so recent and so raw. She wants to live, but she wants to live with them. Ten years. She's been with them for ten years and then suddenly, instantaneously, she's all alone, tears spilling out onto the sheets and she can't stop. It's such a hollow feeling, despair. When your heart's broken and there's no sound inside, you feel empty. The rest of the world starts to fade away and there's just nothing but the ache that clamps down on your chest and around your throat and makes it hard to breathe.
Without looking, she knows that the tips of her fingers are fading away, and that if she allows herself to be consumed with grief, she'll disappear altogether. And disappearing, nobody being able to see her or find her or help her, becomes terrifying all over again.
She doesn't know what to say either. She doesn't know what to do but reach blindly for Terry's shirt so she can press her face to his chest and listen for a heartbeat she can't feel in herself, so she can feel the warmth of another person when she feels cold and dead inside, so she can get what comfort she can, whatever Terry can offer, it's selfish but she's scared. ]
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Without looking, she knows that the tips of her fingers are fading away, and that if she allows herself to be consumed with grief, she'll disappear altogether. And disappearing, nobody being able to see her or find her or help her, becomes terrifying all over again.
She doesn't know what to say either. She doesn't know what to do but reach blindly for Terry's shirt so she can press her face to his chest and listen for a heartbeat she can't feel in herself, so she can feel the warmth of another person when she feels cold and dead inside, so she can get what comfort she can, whatever Terry can offer, it's selfish but she's scared. ]