[ The answer is immediate after she's done talking. ]
I never hated you. Well, it's more like... I couldn't even if I wanted to. Not that I ever wanted to anyway. I can understand that I deserved most of the scolding and hitting back then too.
[ Probably? He doesn't think he had a moment where he resented Kido for hitting him. There was that one time where he yelled at her during their first Lockdown in which she threw the phone square at his face, but that wasn't particularly... hate nor resentment. He only remembers that moment because. Seriously. His phone was weaponized so quickly.
... That aside. That brainwashing moment is something that still unsettles him to this day. ]
I can also understand why you did all that, like coming back when we told you not to. It's just how you are, not giving up when there's an opportunity right in front of you. I told you not to come back because I thought I wouldn't ever be able to accept my Shadow. There's... no way I can be mad at you for that, especially since I was in the middle of incredibly harsh self-loathing. I was a coward, who put my friends' lives on the line for the sake of my own ego.
[ They say that the bottom most and worst circle of hell is for betrayal, and Terry really feels like his mind had been inside it for so long. ]
I... felt guilty for the longest time. I promised to protect you, but I was the one who attacked you--nearly killed you. It's no wonder Nekogami was furious with me and wanted to kill me in return. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to beg for your forgiveness, but I figured that wouldn't be enough either...
[ Terry lowers the towel on his head to cover a portion of his face, held by his hand as if he's drying his face. ]
no subject
[ The answer is immediate after she's done talking. ]
I never hated you. Well, it's more like... I couldn't even if I wanted to. Not that I ever wanted to anyway. I can understand that I deserved most of the scolding and hitting back then too.
[ Probably? He doesn't think he had a moment where he resented Kido for hitting him. There was that one time where he yelled at her during their first Lockdown in which she threw the phone square at his face, but that wasn't particularly... hate nor resentment. He only remembers that moment because. Seriously. His phone was weaponized so quickly.
... That aside. That brainwashing moment is something that still unsettles him to this day. ]
I can also understand why you did all that, like coming back when we told you not to. It's just how you are, not giving up when there's an opportunity right in front of you. I told you not to come back because I thought I wouldn't ever be able to accept my Shadow. There's... no way I can be mad at you for that, especially since I was in the middle of incredibly harsh self-loathing. I was a coward, who put my friends' lives on the line for the sake of my own ego.
[ They say that the bottom most and worst circle of hell is for betrayal, and Terry really feels like his mind had been inside it for so long. ]
I... felt guilty for the longest time. I promised to protect you, but I was the one who attacked you--nearly killed you. It's no wonder Nekogami was furious with me and wanted to kill me in return. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to beg for your forgiveness, but I figured that wouldn't be enough either...
[ Terry lowers the towel on his head to cover a portion of his face, held by his hand as if he's drying his face. ]