reveilation | IC INBOX

It's alright, I'll just wear it.

[ It's what she'd originally meant to do, anyways, pulling the hoodie over head and tucking the tag in behind her neck so it doesn't poke her when she puts the hood up. Like this, the entire world gets blocked out besides what's right in front of her. Which is just Terry. Like he's the only person left in the entire world that's become nothing but darkness. ]

But, hey. It... was a good day. I had a good time. I need you to know that, because...

[ Because she sure doesn't look like she's having a good time, staring somewhere around Terry's navel instead of his face. ]

...I didn't think I could have a good day ever again.

[ She didn't think she could be happy ever again. She keeps thinking about them. Even the black hoodie she has on, rather than comfort, it reminds her of Kano's and him dead in her arms when all she could do was cry. Every time she wants to smile, there's a crushing sense of guilt, because she doesn't want to be the only one smiling. She doesn't want to be the only one here. ]

I— [ her voice breaks, and she drops it to a whisper ] I really miss them.

[ Terry stands there, listening to Kido's confession. When her voice breaks, it's painful to hear because he can feel the crushing anguish from that alone. He drops the shopping bag and hugs Kido. He wants to be there for her, like when she was there when he was freaking out about the possibility of his original existing here. A hand moves to the back of her head and he lightly pushes it to his shoulder as he pulls her even closer, probably a sign that it's okay to cry. It's okay to let it out. ]

I'll always try to make good days with you, Kido. You feel a lot of grief over what happened... that's okay. It's okay to feel that way. After all, they were close people, precious people to you... But know that your new family here will always support you too. At least I... I'll always be there for you.

[ She doesn't want to cry, not in public. But it doesn't matter, because her eyes have already changed from black to red, swimming in tears, the two of them no longer existing, as far as the rest of the world is concerned. As if removing them from that world and placing them in an entirely new one, where they're the only two people left, just like she said.

She'd cried so much the past week already, enough that her voice had gone hoarse and she'd tired herself out to have fallen asleep more than once, but it appears to be endless as she presses her face to Terry's shoulder, not quite hugging back, but clutching the fabric of the shirt on his back. To trigger her ability, she'd learned when she was a kid, all she has to do is think of something sad, and now she has an endless supply to draw from. ]

I keep losing my family, Terrence. I don't want to lose you too...

[ Even if he can't die, there are still ways to lose him. She'd lost him for ten years already. And even though death is a natural part of life, and she knows that, what really makes her furious about all this is that- ]

So many of them, they weren't even accidents. There was so much murder— either somebody took their life, or they took their own. How is that fair?

... It isn't.

[ He quietly breathes out and holds Kido a little tighter than before. He recalls Vassago briefly coming out without the usual summoning method in the hospital and his conversation with Souji pretty much reinforced the idea that he probably doesn't have much time left, even though he's been doing all that he can to try and find a way so that Vassago doesn't turn into a Shadow like Sasuke's did. It's too bad that it's all having the opposite effect every time he tries and while the therapy did help a little, the event (death) after worsened everything. The conversations he had with everyone in the hospital furthered all that. He doesn't want to go.

But then he wonders... is it more important to stay alive as someone else or die as yourself?

... ]

That's what makes it sadder... and unfair.

[ Either way, he doesn't want Kido to go through that again, but he doesn't know what to do otherwise. He could continue searching for other ways, but it already feels futile. It drained whatever was left of his optimism, but he can at least try for other people. It's a lot draining when other people are involved rather than just worrying about himself, but that's the price of having friends--people who care.

It's not so bad. ]

Sorry... that I can't do much more.

[ It sure would be nice to just hop on over to Kido's world and fuck up whoever destroyed her family, but. You know. ]

[ Fucking up whoever destroyed her family would be immensely satisfying in the short term, but it doesn't bring back her family, and is just another death in a world already drowning in it. ]

It's okay. What's done is done, so there's nothing anybody more to do about it.

[ There's nothing to fix or solve or make better, it's just getting through it, and Terry's doing just fine.

Kido sniffles, drawing back to wipe the tears off her face with her sleeve, trying to stop crying because that doesn't help anything either. Talking is supposed to, but it's hard and there's nothing new to say that she hasn't already turned around in her head a billion times. She never really talked to Seto, Kano, or Mary about anything important, and now it's too late.

She tries to take a deep breath to calm down, but her breath just hitches and she gives up. It was a good day, but she's ready for it to end. ]

Let's just head home now. I'll try again tomorrow.

[ Terry rubs Kido's back a little more before letting go of the hug. He picks up the bags again and holds her hand. ]

Yeah... Let's go home.

[ There's a small smile on his face. Maybe it's to cope. Maybe it's to help Kido smile too. Either way, it's there. ]

Tomorrow is another chance.

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