reveilation | IC INBOX

[ It's well into the night, so Terry finally feels that stupid forced happy thing disappearing from his system. Good... good. ]

Calm down!

[ He yells, but hugs her back just as tightly. ]

I just said that he's not going anywhere with the intention to die! He doesn't want to die, Kido. Think carefully--he said that he foresaw it. He probably saw in one of his visions that he's dying soon. It's not... his choice, and he probably didn't want to tell anyone about it.

[ People keep yelling at her to calm down but it always just has the opposite effect of making her cry harder, trying to squeeze her eyes shut tight to stem the tears but they break through anyways.

She'd taken Toki foreseeing his death as him setting a death date. People do those things. They write a suicide note like this recording is, choose a time and place and method and... ]

How soon... [ she whispers, mind reeling, trying to think back to what scared her so much about his message. The "I love you." Toki talking as if he doesn't have a lot of time left, like he has some terminal illness that will inevitably claim his life. ]

Is he going to die? Is there nothing we can do about it? Can you find those sorts of things out?

I can... try.

[ Though he needs to add a disclaimer. ]

I can try pinpointing things about the future, but they're really unreliable since the future can be changed under certain situations. I can try to pinpoint what Toki knows about it instead, on what he thinks.

Please try. I don't care how unreliable or inaccurate— if we can keep it from happening, as long as it doesn't happen...

[ If Terry is unable to get a straight answer because the mere fact that they're trying to figure when and how and what to do to prevent it is something that'll interfere with the death, then that's the best case scenario. Uncertainty is much better in this case. ]

[ Terry nods and does the usual spacing out. It takes a lot longer this time at its maximum cap of thirty seconds, because unreliably predicting the future takes a lot out of him. ]

... Okay, from Toki's perspective, he thinks he'll die from he turns 16. His birthday is on December 28th. He doesn't know how or where it's gonna happen. I tried to dig into it and it's too vague... the possibility I came up with "nature". So maybe it's something weather-related...? Or from how cold it is because it's winter...? That's all I got.

[ Another thirty second crying session, but at least it's lighter now, mostly sniffles. They have until the end of the month to keep Toki alive... He'd apparently stolen all the blankets in the house, so he'd better not freeze to death out there despite all of that. She can't help but worry. ]

He doesn't have much clothes of his own, does he...? He should at least have enough to last between laundry days. The 28th, though...

[ She pulls away from where she'd been holding onto Terry. ]

That's only two weeks. Do we just... make sure he's never alone for those two weeks?

... He's been wearing my clothes all this time.

[ Except the one he wore at the wedding lmao. God. Terry just realizes this, also from the fact that he found this jellyfish plush near his closet. ]

I'm running out of clothes. Other than that, I'm... not sure. I can pinpoint where he is from time to time, but I'm still away and usually working.

[ Apparently they're taking a bath together on the next freaking day in this very house and Terry won't be around for it... so....

looks at kido ]

I want to use Rimi to watch over him, but I feel like he'd smash Rimi to bits. I have a feeling that he hates that sort of thing.

[ Don't look at her. She's not here for the babysitting life. Against better judgement, she's probably going to be tempted to walk out of the house and leave Toki and Rei to drown in the tub. ]

Yeah... I'd hate being watched all the time too. I don't want to do that to him.

[ It's been nice because she and Toki would just naturally hang out a lot, doing nothing but cooking and knitting and lying on the ground playing with cats; if it's like that, things could continue as normal and she wouldn't have to worry about him. Orien's almost always home too, since he can't stand the cold outside. ]

This was something he thought about a while ago, isn't it? Maybe... if he's with Rei now, it won't happen. She won't let anything happen to him. I want to trust in them, but I'm still worried.

[ Rei is also sort of a disaster BUT!!!! she is also a healer. At the very least, Toki won't die of blood loss. Drowning and freezing are still sort of up in the air, though. ]

From the looks of the recording, I don't think Rei knows either.

[ Since it was addressed to her too. He thinks that to all those moments when Toki cried, especially this morning in the bathroom. Maybe he was thinking of this when he was going to get married. Despite how happy he could be, the looming and impending death might have been so much to bear alone.

... ]

Did you... want to talk to him about it?

Yeah.

[ Without hesitation, she wants to talk to him about it. She's lost too many people in her life who she would never see again, and would always regret never saying what she could to them, before it's too late. ]

He left this for us because he didn't want us to worry. But I'd rather have us all worry together and support him, than have it eat away at him all by himself. He shouldn't have to deal with this alone. I won't let him. He's not alone.

Yeah. Sounds good.

[ Terry wipes away at Kido's remaining tears and tear streaks on her face. ]

It'll be okay, and Toki won't die. We'll make sure of it.

Mm.

[ She pulls back and runs her sleeves over her eyes for good measure, wondering if Toki would hate her if she locked him up inside the Velvet Room until December is over. This is how evil villains are created. ]

I don't want him to die. Or anybody else. Yesterday, Jiro and I almost... I'm still so scared of dying.

[ Apparently Orien has Jiro in the medical room right now, but he's been quiet about it since he's the first thing he saw after coming back from the wedding first. ]

... What happened yesterday with you and Jiro that you two almost died?

[ He looks worried. ]

[ Timelines are so weird. We'll just say that Kido brought Jiro in sometime... instead of Jiro crawling his way here from the hospital by himself which he wouldn't do... Everything happening meant there was no time to talk about anything anyways, until now. ]

We went back to Rei's dungeon to make sure we weren't missing anything. I... [ am going to skip a lot of unimportant details, she decides ] We were battling one of the Shadows inside and the building started collapsing. There must have been five floors above us, and I didn't know what to do. Jiro kept us from being buried. Both of us would have been dead if it weren't for him.

[ Here she was, thinking she would only ever die facing off with a Shadow or the Daitengu or murder Terry, but it's so easy to die from any little reason. Collapsing buildings. Drowning in the lake. It's so easy to die and you can't prepare for any of it. ]

[ Humans sure are fragile. Terry should just be everyone's meatshield again even if he can no longer absorb phys. But even then, it won't save people from other things. Terry realizes that, and looks at her. ]

Is he... okay?

[ He was cold to him out of pettiness and they didn't get along. Maybe it was his demigod existence that wanted his opposition to die, but he wouldn't actually want Jiro to die. Probably. Maybe. Either way, Terry does seem worried at least. ]

[ Kido shakes her head, which is normally her way of conveying that she doesn't know, but in this instance, it also means Jiro is very not okay. ]

He was coughing up a lot of blood, and I couldn't heal him. Everything looked fine until we were outside— before, he had this black smokey thing surrounding him that made him a lot stronger. I only saw it once before, earlier in the month when I was... little.

[ She was a stupid six-year-old child who immediately stopped thinking the smoke claw was scary when Jiro redirect her attention to Rago instead. ]

He saved my life back then too. Is Rago around? Maybe he knows what's wrong with Jiro?

[ Oh, come to think of it... Rago has been in the house all this time, hasn't he? Terry realizes this and from his experiences, he could connect Jiro's powers with Rago. But it seems that Jiro could still use his powers without Rago, so he wonders... ]

I'm wondering if he forced himself to use it...

[ Though guesswork isn't really effective at this rate. ]

... We should rest for tonight. Let's deal with all we can tomorrow.

[ "Forced"? Kido has no idea what any of this is about, but it looks like Terry has some idea. It's a conversation she'd want when Jiro is awake, though, which hopefully will be soon... hopefully that medical room can be made soundproof so they don't have to sit through the sounds of Jiro screaming through heart surgery all night. ]

Yeah, you're right. I'm exhausted and can't think straight...

[ Too much crying... ]

The apples are going to be brown by now.

[ They're still good oxidized, but still ): ]

[ Terry picks up all the stuffed animals, and leads Kido back to the kotatsu. He places the jellyfish plush on the table, puts the black felt cat next to Kido and puts the kangaroo plush next to himself. ]

The apples still look good. Let's eat.

[ Fruits give nice energy. ]

[ Kido slides under the kotatsu and takes the cat so she can hold it. The jellyfish is going to make her want to cry every time she sees it from now on. ]

The kangaroo is cute... Are you collecting them too?

[ Once she permanently moves into Terry's room, she is also moving in with a dozen stuffed animals of her own that she got from various people. They're all going on the bed. ]

Toki gave it to me.

[ It's like a fond memory, even though they just talked about Toki and death. ]

He said that a friend gave it to him when he was going through a hard time. He gave it to me so that I could be happier. It was... really moving.

[ Is it okay to regift something like that? She supposes it's not her place to say one way or another. She looks from the toy to Terry. ]

Are you happier?

[ It doesn't have to be happy. Just happier. She moves so she can put her arms around him, not a clingy desperate hug like before, but loose and warm. ]

I wish I could do that for you. Make things happier when you're going through hard times.

I... wanted to make this work. All those years of living and I still feel like I don't have the basics down on what I should do to be on good terms with everyone. But... even with everything thrown my way, I'm a little happier.

[ It's like starting from rock bottom when he wanted to die, so things can only get better from there on out. Even so... ]

You say that as if you can't.

[ He hugs her back. ]

[ She wishes she could help by doing something more concrete— she wishes she could be like one of those heroes they used to pretend to be when they were little, fighting all the injustice in the world so everybody could find happiness. But she'll take even little things now, she'll take being a little happier, hugging Terry a little tighter, hoping this little bit will help. ]

Everybody's different. It's almost impossible to be universally liked since everybody is different. I still stand by what I said months ago: just be yourself, and there'll be people who like you. It's impossible not to.

[ Terry smiles. ]

You think so? I know at least one...

[ Though they started out great. Now it's... eh. ]

That's that, I guess, since it's impossible to be universally liked. But that's fine. I'm trying to come to terms with that too. I don't ever regret choosing you either.

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