reveilation | IC INBOX

[ After confirming that Kido is also alive (with a high fever) on the 15th, he's relieved that she's alive too even though the fever is worrisome. Maybe this hospital can work miracles after all.

When he comes back on the 16th, he sees blood everywhere on the bed, his stomach sinks, and repeatedly hits the nurse aid button. If they could somehow bring the dead back alive, this should be no problem, right? It'll take some time for the nurses to actually get here though, and all Terry can feel is anger because they're gun wounds. Someone must have come into the hospital to shoot her. But why? He can't think of any reason, but he'll try to press onto the wound to stop the blood flow.

He doesn't need her to die twice on him... ]

[ The hospital can work miracles, but their security system still sucks if they'd somehow allowed an armed assailant to shoot one of their patients and then disappear into thin air without anybody noticing what happened.

Terry will have a hard time pressing on the wounds, chiefly because there are five of them: two on either side of her stomach, one on her left shoulder, one straight through the heart, and the last directly in between the eyes. It's overkill, but which one is Terry going to focus on... Every wound is bleeding, the bullets are still in there somewhere, but Kido is somehow still alive through it all, though not yet awake. ]

[ Maybe the universe just won't let Kido stay dead for some reason. Though there's some suffering in that too. However, there's seriously way too many and he even covers her face with a towel and it takes a while to realize that his hands are all bloody with the attempt at trying to stop the two from either side of her stomach. The nurse comes in and Terry frantically looks at her. ]

Get the doctors here! Please! Hurry!

[ They had to deal with a screaming Terry the previous day too, and now they gotta deal with him doing the same thing again today, in the same room no less. The doctors come and whisk Kido to the surgery room again to get those bullets out because wow. One of the nurses bring security in which Terry had to answer questions as to what happened. He doesn't know. He doesn't have a gun. His hands are bloody because he tried to help stop the bleeding.

During the interrogation, he yells at the security guard that they should have kept a more careful eye around the place, since that's their job, and that the ones in the schoolyard does a much better job than the ones in a professional hospital. He doesn't take small crime rate in the town as an excuse and he's eventually dismissed after a quick body search, because they really didn't believe he didn't have a gun with him.

Anyway, by the time he goes back to the room, it seems Kido is back on the bed with a new bed. The interrogation took a long time, and so did the waiting until he was allowed to see her again. She's probably wrapped in a bunch of bandages and he looks over at the heart rate monitor that consistently beep, letting Terry know that at least she's alive despite... everything. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief and goes to sit next to the bed. ]

[ Kido falls in and out of consciousness several times, opening her eyes to a red towel, then to blurry faces, blinding lights, darkness, a white ceiling. In between each of those, she watches her family die over and over again. She watches the smile drop off Kano's face as he gets shot through the head, body warm and heavy as she holds him close to herself. Seto running forward to shield the both of them, shot through the stomach and throwing up blood but still he gets on his feet to protect them. He's shot again through the mouth, and then gun points to her, and she doesn't even have time to scream as the pain explodes everywhere in her body. By the time the darkness came, she was in such anguish, she welcomed it.

But the darkness did not want her, and rejects her again, throwing her back into this world. She opens her eyes and sees dark hair and draws back in terror, finally allowed the chance to scream that she didn't have before. And it hurts. Her body, her heart, her throat still raw from the smoke and the fire and her scream is hoarse and wet, broken by the wail and the tears that push past choked sobs like a dam breaking and now it can't stop. She curls in on herself, squeezing her eyes shut but the tears still manage to escape; there's nowhere else for them to go, she doesn't have the strength to hold them in. IVs continue to be a detriment more than help, because Kido pulls on them too, pulling the lines as she grabs at the air in front of her, trying to find somebody who isn't there anymore. ]

[ Terry was about to reach his hand out towards her when she opened her eyes, and her reaction of fear and screaming eventually leads him to withdraw his hand and he momentarily grits his teeth in frustration from seeing her react that way to him. Unlike with Rei, Kido's not thrashing about as much, so he gives her some space. However, he does walk around the bed to where the IV hanger is and pulls that closer to the bed so that it doesn't accidentally come off as she moves about. He just does all that quietly without a sound and sits back down on the chair next to the bed. He lets Kido scream and cry to herself for a while.

Was he wrong to wish for them back?

Was it wrong for him to hold onto that hope?

...

He feels so exhausted despite not having done anything else in the day, but that's not going to stop him. When it sounds like she's not screaming as much, Terry gets up from his seat again and reaches a hand over to Kido's head. Maybe a headpat might help her, even if it's just a little. ]

Kido, it's okay... you're safe now... it's fine. Everything is fine...

[ She screams until her voice breaks, but the tears take longer to stop, breath hitching and tears spilling out anew every time she thinks she's calming down. But she can't, not when every time she closes her eyes, all she can see is blood spraying into the air and everything coming crashing down all around her.

When she feels the weight on her head, she startles badly and roughly throws his hand off of her, her voice scratching at her throat with the effort it takes to get them out. ]

It's not fine! How could you say that?! Ka- Kano! And Seto too! He killed them— he's going to kill Mary! How is any of that fine?!!

[ He withdraws his hand again when she reacts like that again and throws his hand off her. ]

... Kido, what are you talking about? You've been in the hospital this whole time... Did you have a bad dream?

[ It's a hateful look that crosses Kido's face as she throws punch number one at Terry's face— it's not even the stomach, but his face so she can make him shut up. She's absolutely livid, hearing him say that. ]

My family DIED, Terrence! Don't you dare brush that off and call it a dream!!

But--

[ The punch connects right at his forehead and Terry can feel his brain shaking inside his skull. He might have gotten a concussion from that before, but he's better about it now, so it doesn't take too long for him to regain his focus. ]

I'm not brushing it off! What else can it be?? You were here in the hospital the entire time!!

I was not in a hospital! I haven't been to a hospital in years— we were at the mall, we went to the amusement park, we were going home and then—-

[ And then it's like she's seeing the room itself for the first time, hearing the monitor behind her pick up as her heart thrums in her throat. The last thing she remembers is being shot, and now she's in the hospital. If that's true, then ]

Where's Kano? Seto? Is Mary here? Is Kisaragi alright?!

[ Terry doesn't know what to say. He usually has a retort or know how to bounce conversations back and forth, but he's stunned by all that Kido is saying. His head hurts and now he's exhausted. He's not sure if he can keep this up. ]

They were never here in the first place, Kido. You died on the fourth floor of the Dungeon because you were trapped in a burning storeroom and you've been here ever since. It's only been several days.

[ His voice is even and calm, though his expression looks anything but calm. ]

I don't have a reason to lie to you about this. You can ask the staff members here if you don't believe me.

[ Maybe that gunshot to the head rattled something in there.

But Kido falls quiet, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead, because she does remember the dungeon. She remembers Terry, and that he wouldn't lie to her about something like this, but all of that feels so far away, and her head is pounding and makes it impossible to get things in order.

There was a fire. She was swallowed up by the flames and by a snake and when she opened her eyes again, she was lying in the middle of smoldering rubble. And life went on. She'd moved on. This world, Hirajiro, had been the dream she was caught in in the moments of her death, and then set aside once that was no longer the case.

And now she's back in the dream, clutching the sheets in her fist hard enough for it to hurt. ]

...It's been ten years. I haven't seen you in ten years. You can look in my head and see if I'm lying, can't you?

I won't have to.

[ Her emotions were so strong and raw that considering Kido's personality, Terry doesn't even have to check with his powers to know if she's telling the truth.

But he'll finally sit down while the swirl of emotions fade and his adrenaline sinking. He's considering that Kido's soul was torn from her body and sent back to her world, because it's definitely possible, at least back in his world, where she would live out ten years of her life there, continuing from where she "died" here. It could also be the reason why she's not dead right now when the time limit was up, her soul would be forcibly sent back here.

...

This is some crazy ass speculation, but it's always a possibility since it exists somewhere in this crazy multiverse that they all live in. ]

I'm sorry, that you had to go suffer like that. It must have been hard... sorry for calling it a dream.

Edited 2019-09-12 22:21 (UTC)

[ Terry might have calmed down, but Kido can't, because it's only been a handful of minutes for her that she'd been kneeling on the asphalt staring up at the barrel of a gun. She's still suffering and it's still hard and she's still scared and furious and shaking.

She had died once, in the dungeon, burning and suffocating, and she'd woken up from that. A second time, when her house blew up and collapsed in flames around her, and she had stood back up. A third, gunshot to the heart, gunshot to the head, but she's still here, isn't she? ]

I'm going back.

[ She pushes herself up from the bed, but it's her left side that she leans her weight on and her shoulder gives, and she crashes back down onto the mattress, and tries again. ]

I'm not— I can't let everybody die! He's not going to take everybody from me again!

You can't go, Kido.

[ He quietly breathes out and stands up in an attempt to hold Kido down to the bed by pushing down on her should that isn't wounded. ]

Remember? We're all stuck here. It's not a choice we can make. Sure, you must have gone to a place where time flowed differently, but in the end, you still came back.

[ ... He isn't sure if it was a good thing to wish for her back here--not because of how she's acting towards him right now, but rather if by doing so, he'd be taking away the one thing she wanted to do, was to be by her family back home.

...

It's a loss on either side. He doesn't feel happy about it. ]

[ Whether she'll end up thanking his wish for bringing her back, or scorning it for taking her away, it doesn't matter right now when she struggles against Terry, her right side stronger than her left but the pain still shoots up her side when she tries to twist away and she bites back a cry. ]

I went back there, didn't I?! Why should this place be the end of the line?! Even if I have to die again to get back there, even if—-

[ But a sob breaks through, and she can't complete her thought, thinking of Seto and Kano and how she won't ever see them again. It feels unreal. Like she can change things if she ignores rational thought and tries hard enough, it feels like she can just reach out and grab them and pull them close to her.

Unfortunately, all she's got is rational thought, and she knows they're gone forever. And so she cries. Even if she could save Mary, even if she could protect Momo and her brother and Ene too, what's the point if her two closest friends couldn't be saved either? ]

How am I supposed to live without them...

[ He doesn't know how to comfort Kido in times like these, so he isn't sure what to say. He could say that he's sorry, but for what? That her family back home died? Why? Because it's socially accepted to say sorry despite having no involvement? Or is it to say "sorry for your losses" which sounds equally as hollow? Terry wants to say something meaningful to Kido.

... ]

... They gave their lives to protect you when they could, didn't they? You're here, alive. So, maybe... you could live for them. If you just go off and die again, that's...

[ A waste. A pitiful waste. ]

... all that would have been in vain, probably. But I know you don't want that.

[ There's no right answer, no magical word or easy way to deal with grief that's still so recent and so raw. She wants to live, but she wants to live with them. Ten years. She's been with them for ten years and then suddenly, instantaneously, she's all alone, tears spilling out onto the sheets and she can't stop. It's such a hollow feeling, despair. When your heart's broken and there's no sound inside, you feel empty. The rest of the world starts to fade away and there's just nothing but the ache that clamps down on your chest and around your throat and makes it hard to breathe.

Without looking, she knows that the tips of her fingers are fading away, and that if she allows herself to be consumed with grief, she'll disappear altogether. And disappearing, nobody being able to see her or find her or help her, becomes terrifying all over again.

She doesn't know what to say either. She doesn't know what to do but reach blindly for Terry's shirt so she can press her face to his chest and listen for a heartbeat she can't feel in herself, so she can feel the warmth of another person when she feels cold and dead inside, so she can get what comfort she can, whatever Terry can offer, it's selfish but she's scared. ]

[ He shakily breathes out and it's reflected on his heart rate. It picks up speed for a second, but then it goes back to normal, an almost lethargic rate. And honestly, nothing is fine. Nothing is beautiful, but they still need to live, don't they?

Terry hugs her lightly so that he doesn't accidentally hurt her from her gunshot wounds and her still-recovering burns. Words, when spewed by Terry, doesn't feel like it has much of a positive effect when he wants it to. He thinks he's still pretty good at making Kido mad even when he doesn't want to, so he'll stay here with her, for her, in silence, because it's all that he can do. He thinks he felt something similar when he watched Mondo, Rei, and Kido turn into lifeless corpses, but he didn't exactly have the luxury of comfort, so he wants to do what he can to help Kido through her grief as much as he can.

Ten years, huh... that's a long time. ]

[ Any more words would have fallen on deaf ears with the way Kido cries, trying not to but she can't help it and holding her breath only makes it worst, her sobs punctuated by hiccups and taking a long time to go quiet. Her eyes hurt, her throat hurts, she's got a splitting headache and every inch of her body both inside and out aches enough to make her feel like screaming, but it's something she lets herself feel, because sadness and pain go hand in hand, and as long as she keeps her face buried against Terry's chest and doesn't move, it's bearable. As long as she can stay here and cry, she doesn't have to deal with the reality that every time it feels like she's found happiness, the people who made it so are taken away, and that thought makes her fingers curl on the hem of Terry's shirt, pulling the fabric taught. ]

...Can you stay tonight? Don't go.

[ She doesn't want to be left here alone. Not today. ]

I'll stay as long as you want me to.

[ It would be impossible for Terry to leave Kido like this, when he said that he'd be there for her when he can. Perhaps it's like a second chance, but all he can think of right now is that he needs to stay with her. He wants to. He'll even do his best to smile for her, even if she can't see it with how her face is buried into his chest, even if Terry really feels like crying too.

Maybe it's also selfish of him, but he's so, so glad that Kido is alive. He'd do anything. ]

[ Hopefully Terry doesn't have plans for the rest of his life, because Kido would want him to stay forever, here in the hospital until she's well enough to be discharged or Sasuke is kind enough to spirit her away from the hospital.

With a shaky breath, she lifts her head up to thank Terry, but catching the smile on his face only brings a surge of anger that pushes more tears out of the corners of her eyes. What the hell is he smiling for, when she'd just lost her family, and a part of her with them? He's trying to be kind, her heart tries to tell her, but he's so stupid, irrational thought cuts in, and it's confusing. And it hurts. Because she's reminded so much of Kano who would smile through anything, faking it because he doesn't want it to hurt any more than it is already- for him and for her. Not that this is the same thing, or that she thinks Terry is faking, but she's seeing that every little thing is going to remind her of the people she lost she can't handle it; she can't be strong like this, and doesn't want to be. ]

Don't smile. There's nothing happy about this.

[ Her being alive aside, but she doesn't think about that, when being alive here means people apart from people there. ]

You don't have to do anything more than just... be here. I just need you to be here, and don't leave me alone.

[ Sitting in silence and doing nothing... But his words aren't very effective right now and he makes her mad with every small thing he does, so all Kido really wants is his presence. Just him being him. That's all. ]

Yeah, I can do that.

[ He swallows his own feelings and drops the smile. Terry sits down on the edge of the bed now so that it could be a little more comfortable for Kido's posture. He's quiet after, even though he's the worst at sitting still and doing absolutely nothing. This wasn't what he had in mind when he talked with Kido about relaxing while doing nothing at all, but he takes all this in stride and just does it.

He looks ahead at the white wall of the room. There's nothing particularly interesting on it, but it's something to keep his eyes on while he gently pats Kido's back mindlessly in two-second intervals.

His exhaustion is very close to catching up with him, but he wills himself to stay grounded despite his current low energy levels. His head also feels like it's throbbing... ]

[ For Kido, sitting still and doing absolutely nothing is an escape, not something to escape from, so when Terry agrees and she can let go of some of that fear, go back to leaning on Terry with her ear pressed up against his heart and letting her eyes close as he pats her back. Her breath hitches every once in a while, but it's helping. Her nose is so stuffy she has to breathe through her mouth and her throat doesn't like that, threatening to close and making the hiccups worse. Her head hearts. Her heart does too, but hurting is so much better than feeling absolutely nothing at all.

The tears stop eventually. Her breathing evens out. She's fallen asleep, and it'll just be like this for the next couple of days. Waking up, rejecting reality, and going back to sleep. Inconsolable. ]

[ Terry will stay at the hospital for all those days for however long Kido wants him by his side. He takes out his phone, and inputs a long distance command to Rimi to watch over the house and feed the cats at certain time intervals. It sure is nice, having a house buddy at times like these. With a quiet sigh, he continues to watch over Kido. There are times when the nurses come to change Kido's bandages and apply an ointment that will help soothe the burn and wounds. They also recommend her to take painkillers, which are on the bedside stool. Terry temporarily leaves Kido's side when the nurses come, but not that far--just beyond the curtain pulled around the bed area and makes sure that Kido knows he's there, since she'd be able to see his feet.

He eventually gets his sleep too, and this would also repeat for the next several days. ]

9/16, action

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